I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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