Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
