its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
