I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
