I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
