Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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