I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
