just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
