First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
