i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
