I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize