if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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