Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
