The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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