when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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