Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
