I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
PANTIES FOUND
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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