Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Every concussion has its silver lining
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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