How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
