I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
