to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
