She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
