My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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