apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
