I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He passed out mid-signature
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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