Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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