i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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