so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
