If that was your dad, he is hot
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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