Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
