There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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