I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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