dude i'm inner monologue high
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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