everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
