from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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