so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
