bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
