return my video game
I think my fart just growled at me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
