I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
