im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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