go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
