I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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