my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
