You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
