I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
