my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
