just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i now understand why vodka
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
