You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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