At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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