and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You ruined the universe
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
