I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize