just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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