This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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