It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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