I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
