Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
